On the Rough Side of the Mountain
Getting gutsy means stepping outside of your comfort zone to reach your goals and live a life that truly makes you happy. When I let go of the fear of what people would think about my decisions and pressed forward anyway, I felt really gutsy.
By default, we as humans are relational creatures; we crave acceptance, affection and love from those around us, and when we don't feel those things it is pretty upsetting. Feeling rejected, distant and unloved are things that almost no one wakes up desiring, but sadly many of us will feel those things at some point in our lives. Through time and experience, we learn what types of things lead to those negative feelings, and end up at a place where we avoid them like the plague. We don't want to make moves that will leave us by ourselves on the sidelines. We don't want to voice our dissenting opinion if it means people no longer liking us. We sometimes won't even implement changes that are necessary for our personal growth, health and development if it means people having a negative opinion of us.
Well, I was there earlier this year; there were changes that I knew I needed to make, but I also knew what people would say about it. I was in a relationship that turned very sour, and I held on and continuously put up with all of the jealousy, bickering and outright toxicity that this relationship brought me, all because I was afraid that people would say I was being mean for leaving.
The period of being afraid and not letting go lasted at least seven months; fear is a very powerful feeling. Allowing fear to overtake me for that long and keep me in an unhealthy situation is not something I am proud of, but it is something I made it through.
Thankfully, I got to a place where I chose my purpose, my health and my future over the opinions of other people, and I would undoubtedly say that this was my most gutsy moment. It is not and has not been easy; there are certainly people who think ill of me, and they don't hesitate to blatantly and openly let me know. People call me names, people tell me what I should and should not be doing, people voice all of their opinions about the end of this relationship, but I refuse to let it change my mind.
This is what getting gutsy is to me; making hard decisions that are necessary for your future. We must get to a place where we realize that some things we have to do will be the hardest things we've ever done, and that cannot deter us. There are beautiful things on the other side of the mountain, but we will never see them if we are afraid to climb. The trek up the mountain is the hard part, and the view from the top will be worth it. I am climbing toward the top, and this is one of the harder part of the journey. However, I want to see the top so badly that I refuse to quit.
There are other people climbing toward their goals with me, and we won't all get there at the same time, but I promise you I will get there. Some people may fall off and never try again, some people may speed race to the top and leave me in the dust, but I am going to get there. I am gutsy enough to go. Whether I go alone or surrounded by friends, I am going, and fear of what people will say or think about me will no longer be a reason to stop.
This post is my entry for Jessica Lawlor’s Get Gutsy Essay Contest. To get involved and share your own gutsy story, check out this post for contest details and download a free copy of the inspiring Get Gutsy ebook.