Do You See What God is Doing?

Last night I decided that I would watch the sunrise at 5:47 with a friend. I woke up at 5:30 to walk to the lake. As I was walking, I saw 4 people in the distance, and when we reached eachother, none of them were the person I was expecting. We joked and waited for a little together; we shared a few laughs while I contemplated what I would say to my friend who stood me up.

I'd wanted to listen to music since I'd gotten there, because I knew that there was something God wanted me to receive in that moment and I couldn't be distracted if I planned on receiving it. I was hesitant to put in my earphones because I feared seeming rude, but eventually I did. About 5 minutes later one of the 4 people was tapping me and I didn't know what she was saying, but they were walking away so I waved goodbye. And she mouthed, "you don't want hot chocolate?" So then I decided that I did want some and I would accompany them. Two steps later I recanted and said I was going to stay and wait, and that's where the magic started.

I sat on a bridge over the lake and watched in awe at the stillness of some parts of the water while the rest was quickly rippling, and I was unable to take in the fact that I could not even see the beginning or end of it. In my mind, the lake became God, and the movement within the lake was God moving.

The part of the lake that I was facing was more narrow than the part behind me, and at one point while I was facing it, my music was saying "there's no place that I can run that you won't chase me down", and as I saw the ripples coming toward me I instantly felt secure and was reminded of God's relentless love for me. I turned to look at the other side of the lake, the big and wide part, and the song said, "and there is no place that I can hide that I will not be found." That was unbelievable to me. In that huge body of water, not one place that I could be, would God not be able to find me.

Then I went back to watching the sun rise. I'm in the mountains, so it would be rising over trees. I was watching for awhile and then it got too bright so I looked to the water to watch the reflection and realized that it was completely distorted. This made me realize the necessity of the first person experience and seeing what actually happened and not what is advertised as a replica.

Then I started to jot down my thoughts because I knew my mental block was gone and I had to share my experience. Here are some of those raw thoughts:

1. It is slow.

2. At points I cannot see what is happening. 

3.There were 5 of us to start. It's just me here when it's really getting good. 

4. I showed up because i promised someone else I would. She is not here. 

I still have to take what is for me. 

5. Mirror image but fog shifts it making it appear different. 

6. Uncomfortable. I am cold and shaking.

7. Remembering what my mom and mommom used to say. That i would hemorrhage or get polyps in my butt from sitting on cold concrete. (LOL TMI)

All alone in the freezing cold at 6am is when it started to all click in to place for me.

When God does something in someone's life, the conditions are not always ideal.

There may be trees: the trees are dense and tall and they completely block the sunrise for a significant amount of time. It is rising but because of these present obstacles, no one who has this vantage point is able to see it at all.

People don't always show up: some people said they love to see the sun rise and that they want to come see it this morning, but they never made it out of bed. Others took the time to wake up and come to the lake, but they grew impatient and left. The people we thought would be here to experience this glorious moment with us don't always have great follow-through. We STILL have to show up for ourselves and be content that we will see the beauty. While we woke up early to experience something amazing, people are literally and figuratively sleeping on it.

The weather may not be the best: it is cold. Point blank period. I was shaking, shivering and my teeth were chattering. There was no way around that. If I wanted to experience the fullness of this beautiful moment, I was going to be uncomfortable. That is life; there are some things that we really want to see/do that require us to step out of comfort and be completely dedicated to what will happen.

This was not all that I realized though, I was taking in all of that wonderful inspiration, and I was kicking my feet really fast (I was sitting on the bridge with my feet hanging on top of the water but they couldn't reach). I stopped kicking my feet and I saw a ripple, and it was really really big. The impact that my action made on the water amazed me, but more than that, the ripple that I made never stopped until the ripples that were already occurring (God's movement), met up with it. I actually started to cry. God will meet me, and He will truly finish the good work that He started in me until the day of Jesus Christ. I could not believe how real it was. The seamless alignment of my actions and God's movement was breathtaking.

Meanwhile, the sun has come up above the trees. It made it out of the dense situations, but I couldn't find it. I looked a little deeper and realized that it was hidden behind a layer of clouds. The whole time while it was making its way up out of the trees, I was looking over my shoulder to see if the four people would return, but they never did. Now I was upset because although I barely saw it peak out of the trees before it was snatched by the clouds, at least I knew how bright and beautiful it was underneath the clouds.

I looked above the clouds that the sun was currently hidden in,  and realized that even though it made it out of the really dense situations (trees), there were still countless clouds that it would encounter before it reached the point that everyone could see it. I was humbled that I got to experience it in the beginning, because the clouds weren't stopping anytime soon, but I still watched because I knew what beauty was there. This is how life is with people, sometimes we don't know how to wait for people to make it out of the trees, so when they are in the clouds and celebrating a small victory, we are naysayers judging them for not being 100% visible.

Would you have it that the four people started walking back? My raw thoughts:

8. They left at the beautiful part because they didn't see it as beautiful, and showed up when it was behind the clouds.

They were back, and the sun was not out. They asked me if it came yet and because I'd never watched a sunrise from the beginning, I started to doubt. I actually said, "I don't know." Then I said, "the sun came up from behind the trees and now it is right there in those clouds." Just because you have not done something before doesn't invalidate your experiential learning. As I sat there and got more acquainted with God's creation, I learned things well enough to share them with others. Remember this in life. Not only experts are teachers. The four people acknowledged what I said and then left. It still wasn't enough for them to stick around. Except for one. Hannah. And she and I discussed everything I just told you.

She added in that she almost didn't give this beautiful moment a chance because she has seen the sun rise before and expected that it would not be as good because she saw it at the shore and we were in the mountains. We talked about how important it is to just show up and experience what God has put in our path, and appreciate it.

We must take the learning opportunities and make the most of them. We are literally sitting on gold, and we just let it sit under us for so long. It took me until Day 6 in the mountains to overcome mental block, and it only happened because I had the audacity to show up and be receptive.

It is absolutely insane what we can find when we dare to look, what we can see when we watch and hear when we listen.

Do you see what God is doing?

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