Not By Chance

When I think about the strategic work God does in my life, I am deeply moved, almost to tears. Today was a day well spent; it counted, and it spoke volumes to me.

Yesterday was a long day for me, and by the end I was completely spent emotionally and physically. I went to bed last night after ruminating on scripture about anger, and sharing some of the ugliest parts of me with a dear friend. We talked and volleyed back and forth about the things we both need to work on in life, and it was a safe space to be real and to not be “what we should be”. I could tell her the honest truth about my attitude and my emotions, and not feel like I was being a letdown or an embarrassment to God. It was a much-needed time to unload.

Today, I was late to my 8am class, but it went a thousand times better than I thought. Then, my second class had some high points and some low points. After I woke up in my second class (told you…low points), the speaker was saying the world is not centered on us. One might think I have learned this by now, but sometimes I need to be reminded; today/last night was one of them. I had a meeting scheduled for 11am, and wasn’t quite sure how it would go, but the Holy Spirit was certainly there.

I am so thankful that God reminded me of that (the world not being centered on me) right before the meeting, because it was exactly what I needed to let go of all of my assumptions. I walked into the meeting in humility, prepared to apologize for whatever I did wrong, and to be able to have a clear air between myself and the other person involved. As we figured out in conversation, neither of us had ought with the other and she actually understood a lot of my frustration and where I was mentally/emotionally.

Getting that out of the way opened the door to the best conversation I have had in the last two weeks. I shared my testimony of struggling with carnal sin and she told me about her relationship with God. It was beautiful; we both smiled ear to ear for a substantial time. Talking about God, His unconditional and everlasting love, the Bible, interpersonal relationships, faith, hope, healing, newness; it was wonderful and I am so so so happy that God led me into that conversation. When I was walking to the meeting, I stopped and thought, “How will she feel about Christ after this conversation?” When I thought that, all I meant was, would she look at me and say, “Lorae was very nice in a somewhat uncomfortable conversation, maybe that has something to do with her faith and belief in Christ.” Little did I know, God had huge plans and none of it was by happenstance.

God is intentional and strategic; He does not throw anything together and call it good. He has a plan for each and every one of us, and I am seeing His plan for me be unraveled with each new day. I am growing in Him and allowing Him to fill all of my empty spaces and it feels amazing. It feels good to not rehearse what I will say in a meeting, but to pull on God and ask Him to go before me. It is a wonderful thing to be honest with someone and tell him or her you struggle in this area but you are working on it and praying for God to change your heart. I am not ashamed I don’t always have the right thing to say; I am able to be transparent about my occasional lack of tact because I know that God is within me and He is changing me from the inside out.

My call to action for you is to “stay woke” in a sense. Look at what God is doing in your life, and don’t let the pieces of the puzzle slip through your fingers. He will show you, if you look. I am now seeing the difference between living as if I am the captain, and living as if I am a passenger. I have to ask Him for direction; He knows exactly where we are going.

If everything was willy-nilly and nothing had any substance or purpose, our actions would not make much of a difference. We could just decide to do whatever we wanted and not worry about the repercussions; but I have a new understanding of truth. Since everything is not by happenstance, and there is a plan, I don’t want my actions to ruin or taint that. He has let me in and told me of His plan, and now I want to go along and live accordingly. 

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